59 Comments

  1. TheSpeedBump

    It's tough growing up in this digital age. Cyberbullying really started to take off with the rise of Facebook and Bebo when I was 12 or 13, and I don't know many people my age and younger who haven't been cyberbullied now, unfortunately.

    Schools are getting better and better at dealing with it – when I was at school, they were very much of the attitude of "Well turn your computer off and ignore it then", even though I was having online threats to physically beat me up! They're much better at handling it these days.

    Great post. #KCACOLS

    • I am so glad I got school over before this all started. I think Myspace was kicking about but it was very new and no one really bothered with it then.
      That's a terrible attitude to bullying, especially when you are being threatened. I'm glad the school's attitudes have changed!
      Thank you 🙂

  2. Fiona

    Even though I'm a blogger I absolutely hate social media for this reason alone, it makes it so easy to bully people and more often than not you can do so on an anon basis. I would be mortified if my son was a bully or if indeed he was bullied, it's such a horrible thing to have to protect him from.

    • I must admit I love social media for myself, but if I had a teenager, I would be very worried! Like you say its so easy to do it anonymously, finding out who's doing it is half the battle. It really is awful and must be a massive worry.

  3. Michaela YorkshireMum

    I couldn't imagine being a child in this day and age, I'd hate everything about being online and it petrifies me when I think about what my children may go through x

  4. Michele Truhlik

    I can't even imagine being a teenager today. I was bullied when I was in school simply because I was fat. I just thank God that I grew up then and not now because the bullying would've been horrible with the internet and social media. My heart goes out to anyone who is the victim of bullying. I just wish there was something that could be done. Unfortunately, many of the bullies out there have parents who are also bullies too so they aren't going to step in and stop it from happening. Bullies come in all ages. It's a sad social commentary, that's for sure.
    Good post! And fantastic video.
    Michele at Angels Bark

    • I'm so sorry to hear you were bullied Michele. Me too, but its such a complex thing, that often teens don't tell anyone about until it already gone way too far. That's true as well, often bullies' parents seem to think their behaviour is ok, or they just don't care. Thank you 🙂

  5. I find it totally terrifying. I think the internet is such a wonderful thing and I have no idea what we did before it, but it scares me how online bullying could happen to anyone's child and you can't really do that much to avoid. Especially as kids get older and use computers more independently x

  6. MummyTravels

    It does worry me as my daughter grows up that this is something she might face. That's a good point that it's not only about helping victims though.

  7. mummyofboygirltwins

    It worries me so much – as a blogger I know what online pressure can feel like, and I am grown up with thick skin. I just hope my children tell me everything so that I can help them if it happens. Great post. Thanks for linking up, much appreciated 🙂 Jess x

    #sundaystars

  8. Rachel Bitmead

    Social Media has opened up a whole new pathway of bullying. I limit my daughter's use on Social Media and i always talk to her about bullying. I hope with both of my children that they will tell me if something happens. The school my children attend are really hot on Cyber bullying and hold regular whole school assemblies on the subject which i really hope helps. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

    • I think a lot of children try to hide these things, but as long as they know they can come to you, its a good start. Its great that the school are taking some preventative measures here! Thanks for hosting, see you next week! 🙂

  9. Nessa Robinson

    This is something that really concerns me about parenting because it seems like we still have so much to figure out in terms of managing cyberbullying. Such an important issue and I think more bloggers (and parenting bloggers) should write about it because everybody is affected by it at some point in time. Great post!

    • It is a huge concern for exactly that reason. A lot of the time, the accounts the bullies use are anonymous – how do you stop that? I agree, this is an important issue and raising awareness is at least a start. It could just stop the kids that don't even think of it as bullying from starting up! Thank you 🙂

  10. Michelle Murray

    The thought of cyber bullying makes me feel ill especially with having a teenager who does go online. its important for blogger to spread the message and hope that this does raise awareness

  11. Rachel Hirst

    I have 2 teenagers who are always on the Internet and worry about the chance if them been bullied on-line. MY 13 year old is currently been bullied at school and has no social media accounts or mobile phone by choice and I am glad as it is bad enough getting bullied at school without him getting bullied at home too on the internet

    • Oh Rachel, I am so sorry to hear about your boy being bullied. I really hope you manage to get it resolved! Like you say at least with him not being into social media, it is contained at school, although obviously that's bad enough!

  12. Mama, My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows

    Yes, this is all a big worry for me. In fact as much as I love the internet there are lots of things that worry me about it as a parent. This and other internet concerns are on my (ever growing) list of 'big talks' I intend to have with my tot when he's old enough.

    #anythinggoes

  13. Growing Up KaterTot

    My heart goes out to all the children who deal with bullying on a daily basis. I was bullied as a kid by one of my neighbors, and I'll never forget how incredibly helpless and sad I felt. I like the point you made about how parents should check their kids' social media interactions for negative comments from bullies as well as monitor whether their children are bullying. Like you said, it's easy to step on the bandwagon, and parents shouldn't assume that their children aren't capable of bullying. #AnythingGoes

    • I'm so sorry to hear you were bullied, it must be so awful to be made to feel that way.
      I think its important for parents to make sure their kid isn't a bully, because sometimes, I think they jump in without even realising they are a bully!

  14. Michelle Kellogg

    My 8 year old actually got really mad at someone for posting something negative about one of his favorite Youtubers. Well, he watches youtube under my account so when he made a mean comment back, I got the message and I sat him down and had a talk with him. He's 8 so he doesn't really get that just because someone has a different opinion doesn't mean you get to say something mean. It was a long discussion we had but after he understood. I also told him he is not allowed to post anymore comments unless I'm there to monitor what he says. Neither of my kids have social media accounts. My teenager has asked but I have said no. I don't care if other kids his age have social media. I'm not their mother, I'm his and with his Autism, I have to protect him from online predators and bullies. I had experiences with bullies and I absolutely Hate them but I hate that parents don't even seem to try to take responsibility for their kids. Teenagers need guidance just as much as younger ones do. It seems like once the kids today become teenagers, the parents just check out. I'm all for respecting your child's privacy but I'm also about raising decent human beings and that means teaching them right from wrong. This is a great post Debbie. Not many people write a post about bullying addressing the parents of the bullies. Thanks for writing this!
    #anythinggoes

    • Its good that you addressed this early so he doesn't think its ok to do that again. At that age, there is probably no malice in it, but the person receiving the comments thinks they are from a grown up so they might respond pretty harshly.
      I hate that when parents just stop parenting once the kids hit their teens. If anything, they need more support and guidance at this age.
      Thank you 🙂 I just feel there's a lot of advice for parents who's kids get bullied on how to stop it, but its the parents of the potential bully who has the real chance to stop it before it gets started!

    • Michelle Kellogg

      I believe in being proactive with my kids. I believe whole-heartedly that if you do something wrong, you own up to it. I strive to teach my kids to take responsibility for their actions. They aren't responsible for everyone else's and I teach them that they can't control someone else's behavior but they can control their and are responsible for their own actions. Thank you Debbie

  15. Angela Milnes

    Bullying is doing my head in at the minute. my daughter came home crying yet again after being bullied. It is heartbreaking and makes me so cross and mad and sad all at once. I need to really figure out a good way to deal with this as it's not acceptable and it does have a negative impact on the victim!

    ANgela

    • Michelle Kellogg

      There is a kid at my younger son's school who is mean to every kid he comes into contact with. My son doesn't get along with him and will come home telling me he's being bullied but the problem is this kid has a lot of social-emotional issues that the school is working hard to correct. He's in a program with my son actually, for children who have social-emotional issues. My son has ADHD and mild anxiety but this kid has a lot more going on. It puts me in a spot. I talk to the director of the program. She's really great and I do believe that keeping an open communication with the school is key but I am also aware that not all schools like to cooperate with parents. That's my only advice I have for you though

  16. Lady Nym

    It's also some of the stupid stuff that goes on like people screenshotting status updates so they can send them to people who have been blocked. I know that happened with one of my sisters. She started going out with a boy and her ex-boyfriend's friends all started commenting on her Facebook and trying to tag her ex (which didn't work because he was blocked) and then took screenshots of photos of her new boyfriend to send to her ex. It's all so ridiculously immature but it does mean kids now just aren't safe from bullying anywhere.

  17. Cliona Kelliher

    This is such an excellent post – you're right, we all really need to be aware and discuss this with our kids. Bullying really disturbs me and online bullying can be even worse because there's no escape from it. My eldest daughter, who is 20 now, experienced some online bullying for a short time when she was in school. She made her own video speaking out which I thought was amazing.I always emphasize kindness and the 'walk a mile in my shoes' principle.

    • Thank you 🙂 I love your daughter's response to it. Its the kind of thing that can make people on the side lines see how bad they are making someone feel and realise actually its not funny. I'm a live and let live type – if you don't like someone, just don't hang around them, you don't have to make their life hell!

  18. Silly Mummy

    It's a minefield. Good to point out that people should check for evidence of their children bullying others too – as people do tend to just focus on the idea of their kids being bullied. Someone has to be the parents of the bullies!

    To be honest, I think the answer is that children should not be on social media. There is evidence to suggest that it is very damaging to the development of their personalities. It encourages people to base their sense of self on the opinions of relative strangers, which is not good for anyone. But for children, whose sense of who they are is not fully developed, in can irrevocably damage how their personalities form, how stable their emotions are, how strong their self esteem is. They will be more likely to play out their whole lives like a drama over social media, and depend upon what people online say to tell them how to feel about themselves. & that isn't healthy. I think social media can be nice & it can be fun, but it depends on how you use it & how significant you let it be to who you actually are and your private life. People need to have a strong sense of who they are and some confidence before they can withstand social media, I think, & children don't have that. However, even saying children should just not be on it is easier said than done. I intend to try that approach, but I realise it will be hard if all the other kids are on it, as mine won't want to be left out. (This is part of why I don't use photos or personal details of my kids online, and apart from rare vague references to 'the kids' in the context of something else, my children have never appeared on, or been mentioned on, my personal facebook. Because I think it will be easier to justify that I am not going to let them use it if I haven't been putting them all over mine for years – how can I show them the importance of keeping their privacy, if I haven't kept them private? May be a bit off topic now!) #anythinggoes

    • I actually hadn't thought about how reliant teenagers can become on getting online approval, but after reading your comment I totally agree.
      I think it will be hard to stop children having a social media account, because that then opens the door for them to feel left out of group chats and not be included in plans, although I think real friends would make the effort to call or text them the details.
      That's a good point, it would be hard to tell a child that they can't be on social media if they are all over yours!

  19. Jeremy Barnes

    Great advice about checking to see what your kid is writing as well as what is being directed at them. We ran into this with our oldest. There were times when she wasn't "starting it", but that didn't make any of her responses and counter attacks any more appropriate.

  20. Social Media can be vicious I hope when my daughter grows up this cyber bullying will a thing in the past. I think people get out of control online because you cannot see them physically #AnythingGoes

  21. Cuddle Fairy

    It's such a frightening thought. Especially when the kids are in secondary school & the whole social media bullying side can kick in. I think you make an excellent point that all parents should be monitoring their children's phones & online activity to make sure they aren't being bullied AND that they aren't bullying others. #AnythingGoes x

  22. Kerry-Ann Ferreir

    When did the world become such a mean place? This is such a relevant and current topic. As the mom of a teen and a tween I feel like I have been thrust into something that is huge and scary. I keep the lines of communication open and well used, we discuss online etiquette OFTEN, not giving out private information, not meeting up with people you've met online, people you've met online may not be who they say they are. It means telling our beautiful and innocent little ones that not everyone in the world is good but also reminding them that not everyone is bad. #AnythingGoes

    • I'm glad you discuss this with your children, its such a shame it has to be said. I think it is hard to find the balance between warning a child of the potential dangers and scaring them to the point they hardly dare speak to anyone. Thank you 🙂

  23. Reimer Ruby

    My kids are still too young for this, however, this starts to worry me because cyber bullying might get worst when their time comes if this won't be stopped and controlled as early as now. Thanks for sharing! #AnythingGoes

  24. Laura Powell-Corbett

    This absolutely terrifies me for my children. I guess in a way that we ourselves as bloggers can often become victims of online bullying from trolls but most of us are able to brush it off. Why hide behind a keyboard? Fab post Debbie very thought-provoking.

    • Yes, that's true, but I think as bloggers we all take trolls with a massive pinch of salt. Being a teenager, it isn't as easy to do, especially when the troll is someone they know and it spills into everyday life. Thank you 🙂

  25. Gianna Pickup

    Seriously dread to think what it is like for a teenager nowadays exposed to social media. I think as long as there's awareness, such as this post, and some parental limitations, the Internet and social networking can be useful, informative and enjoyable 🙂 #anythinggoes xx

  26. Nikki Frank-Hamilton

    It is so hard anymore as a teen. There are so many more decisions to make, and the internet has a lot to do with it. I feel so much for those who are bullied, it is such a lonely place to be. Our son was bullied at 2 different schools, induced by the teachers in comments to the students who then carried out the bullying. We had to removed him from the schools and he lost friends and familiarity of all he knew. He had to start over each time and it has followed him his whole life. Bullying is sad, no matter where it comes from.

    • Oh wow, what a horrible thing for him to go through! It's shocking when the teachers are the instigators. Even if they didn't intend for it to get out of hand, they should be aware that their words will stay with children and that some children are just looking for an excuse to bully others. I hope your son has been able to move on from this experience.

  27. Sandy Sandmeyer

    Thank you so much for sharing your post with us at the #AnythingGoes Link Party! The new party goes live today at 6 PM ET.

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