21 Comments

  1. I don’t judge. I have three children (2 girls 1 boy). I kinda wanted 4 (2 boys and 2 girls) so that each one would know what it was like to have a brother and a sister, but I was 42 when I had the last one and that was getting kinda old to continue on several levels. I am glad that I have children and I feel sorry for people who want them and can’t have them, but totally understand if someone chooses not to have them. It definitely changes the rest of your life!

  2. I was once told by someone that people who don’t want children are being selfish. I asked her “Isn’t it more selfish to bring children into the world for your own reasons, without first asking the children themselves if they want to live on this mess of a planet… which, of course, you can’t?” She knew I was half-kidding, but she didn’t have an answer. I think everyone has a right to determine their own path. And I’ve known plenty of people who had children although it was obvious that they were going to be unfit parents before a pregnancy ever even occurred.

    • I’m an each to their own kind of person. Want your own football team? Go for it. Don’t want any children? Cool. It just seems not everyone is quite so quick to let others make their own decisions.
      Personally, I couldn’t imagine bringing a child into the world we’re living in today, but if other people choose to, that’s their business

  3. Each person should be able to choose their own path and these questions/opinions are intrusive. When we were trying to conceive we were asked regularly when we’d start a family. That was a really difficult time that wasn’t helped with everyone else interfering. #anythinggoes

  4. Oh my goodness so relevant right now. I am 31 and went to my boyfriend’s nephew’s 3rd birthday party this weekend. Two of the mums introduced themselves and then the very next thing they said was “so when are you going to have one?”

    I was absolutely gobsmacked. They had just met me so it’s a massively personal question (who’s to say I’ve not been trying for years?) and also – do they have NOTHING else to say?! You know, when you meet someone you could try ‘what do you do for a living?’ ‘how are you finding living in this new city?’ ‘what else are you up to this weekend?’ ‘Have you tried that pizza it’s totally amazing?!’ Literally anything else.

    I also listened to this podcast which your readers might enjoy on the subject:
    http://www.jessicamurnane.com/episode-84-not-having-children-by-chance-or-by-choice-with-jody-day/

    Jody Day’s group Gateway Women is for women who are child-free AND child-less and the whole conversation fascinated me.

    Thanks so much for sharing!

  5. Pen

    OMG. It’s crap that people think that they have the right to comment on other’s decisions with regard to children or indeed with regard to anything. Things like this make me really angry. Pen x

  6. I just turned 40 this year and I still get people trying to convince me to have another child because “don’t you want to have a little girl?” Well, yeah I did want a little girl at one point but I have since become very content with having only two boys for one. For two I would need a man to help with that which I have no desire to have in my life right now (that opens a whole other can of worms) and three I’m 40! I am done having children. I have plans to travel once my kids are old enough that I don’t feel guilty leaving them behind because I want to travel kid free. No offense to my boys. I love them more than anything but mama needs a break, lol. I don’t understand why total strangers see fit to put their two cents where it doesn’t belong. #anythinggoes

  7. Kim - Raising a Ragamuffin

    Argh this kind of thing really winds me up! It falls into the same category as (almost immediately following the birth of your child) ‘are you having any more?’. I’m sorry I didn’t realise that the letting status of my uterus was any of your business.
    Totally get where you’re coming from with this post #AnythingGoes

  8. I don’t understand why people are so judgemental about something that doesn’t affect them in any way? I’ve got a daughter, but my sister and many of my friends are not interested in having children and they often get the same kind of rude and nosy comments. Not wanting your own children doesn’t mean you hate kids, just like not wanting a pet doesn’t mean you hate animals. We all have our own preferences and should be allowed to live our own lives without judgment.

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