While there will be times when even the most positive people feel down, on the whole, I believe being happy is a choice. We can choose to look for the positives and focus on how awesome they are, or we can choose to focus on the negatives and allow them to drag us down.
If you find yourself falling into the negativity trap all too often, there are things you can do to change the way you think and react to things, which can make you see the positives and ultimately lead to you being happier. It could be that you find yourself doing one of the five things that happy people don’t do.
Moan Constantly
Happy people don’t moan about every little thing. Vocalising an emotion gives it power, and if you find yourself moaning about things all of the time, you’re so much more likely to focus on the negatives than someone who vocalises positivity.
Sound a bit too “new age”? Think about this example:
Two people are standing in a queue. Both of them are buying a dress for a party tonight. The queue has a wait time of around fifteen minutes.
One of the women spends that time moaning about how long the queue is, how slow the cashier is and how she’s sick of waiting. The other one spends that time saying how much she’s looking forward to the party, how much she loves the dress she’s chosen and how nice it will be to reconnect with a few old friends at the party.
Who do you think will leave that shop feeling happier?
Play the Blame Game
Spending too much time blaming other people for your problems is unproductive and just leads to you feeling resentful, angry and ultimately, unhappy.
Look at the situation you’re frustrated with and own your part in it. Stop being passive in your life – by assigning the blame to others, you are asserting that you have no control over your decisions. Once you accept that other people can’t force you to feel a certain way without you allowing them to, stop allowing them to!
Take control and change the situation. Happy people tend to be happy because they have made choices that have led to a happy life – and you can do the same once you stop blaming everyone around you and step up.
Act Entitled
You know what the world owes you? Precisely nothing. Happy, successful people don’t sit around thinking about how they deserve such and such a thing – they go out and they work for it.
Instead of focusing on assuming you should have something just because you exist, focus instead on what steps you can take to get it.
Compare Themselves to Others
Nothing good can come of this. Everyone is walking their own paths, and comparing yourself to someone who has been on their path for longer is only going to make you feel bad. Happy people measure their success based on how far they’ve come, no on where someone else is on their journey.
Tear Others Down
Again, nothing good can come of this. People who are content and happy with their own lives can easily feel happy for someone else’s success. If you feel jealous and bitter when a friend or family member achieves something wonderful, then you need to start looking inside of yourself and ask yourself if you’re truly upset because that person achieved something wonderful, or if it’s more because you feel like you haven’t achieved your goals yet.
Supporting other people means that you get to share in their happiness. And the worst part about this behaviour is that it’s completely futile. Putting someone else down and trying to belittle their success doesn’t make you anymore successful or anymore happy.
Do you ever catch yourself doing any of these things and getting in the way of your own happiness? Let me know in the comments 🙂
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Great advice and reminders! Thanks for sharing!
Yep agree with all of these – especially tearing the other people down – gossiping is awful in my view and says a great deal about people!
I agree – it says so much more about the one saying it than the one it’s being said about.
Debbie I think I’ve been guilty of every one of these things at various times in my life. Midlife is teaching me how they impact so negatively on my mindset and I’m working my way through to discard them all – work in progress but definitely getting there – and I’m a lot happier for letting them go.
I’m so glad you’re letting go of these things and that you’re happier for it. I think we’re all guilty of some of them at times – I know I have to sometimes remind myself that comparisons are never a good thing.
Such valid points here – and a reminder how destructive it can be to let negativity win over xx
I love these and agree! I am a happy person and I’ve watched as friends constantly get down on themselves for their perceived failures – all due to their comparing themselves to other’s success. It’s a waste of time! #AnythingGoes
It really is a waste of time, although sometimes it’s hard not to do it.
I love this post. These are pretty much the rules I abide by. I’m pretty happy most of the time too so I guess it works. I can’t stand people who moan about life but never do anything to change it.
Same here – either suck it up or change it!
This is such a great post!! My mom and I were just discussing the positive vs negative traits that people exhibit…..and just call me Pollyanna!!
XOXO
Jodie
Always better to be Pollyanna than Grumpy Cat!
Yes to all these but I think too much of one thing is bad and more important to have moderation X #anythinggoes
I agree about material possessions, but I don’t think being happy too much is bad x
Couple of these creep in from time to time and it feels good for a moment but never works in the long run.Thanks for the tips on turning it around 🙂
I think we all slip into some of these sometimes!
I love posts about positivity and channelling good vibes. I believe in gratitude and making things happen by thinking about them and visualising them. I believe it’s always better to focus your energy on being happy than dragging yourself down – and others – by doing the things you’ve mentioned above. Lovely post x #AnythingGoes
Thank you 🙂 I totally agree that focusing on the positive is a key component to being happy x
I am guilty of most of these behaviours today. So I will return again for another read tomorrow and learn from the lessons here because I really need to #AnythingGoes
Just try to let go of one at a time 🙂
Great advice – especially as I’m having a particularly moany day! #anythinggoes
Thank you 🙂 Hope it helps!
great post
These are all so true! Love how this post is full of positivity
I am ashamed to say that I’ve been guilty of every one of these things every now and then.
Thanks for the reminder!
#BloggerClubUk
Great advice, I’m definitely a more positive person but I see negativity all the time.
#bloggerclubuk
This is so important. I think we as women tear each other down. I hear so many kids complain and moan about what they don’t have. Have a thankful heart.#bloggerclubuk
Excellent post. Great commonsense advice. Neatly put. #anything goes
can’t agree with this any more and was just having this conversation with somebody yesterday. It almost feels sometimes like people are making themselves miserable. Get over it! #anythinggoes
That is so true!
Good reminders, especially after a really tough day!
You’re probably right. I do some of these on occasions, I think we all do. But I’m usually quick to check myself and realise what I’m doing. #BloggerClubUK
It’s easy to slip up and being aware of it usually helps to rein it in
These are exactly the things that my youngest brother does all the time (in addition to a few other things he does that makes him a toxic person) and he is most definitely miserable. These are all things that happy people don’t do because they are symptoms and causes of more misery. I agree 100% with you Debbie! #anythinggoes
I’m sorry to hear your brother is getting in the way of his own happiness. It’s sad that some people just can’t grasp that they’re the only ones who can turn their life into one they love.
There are a lot of people where I work who do most of these things all the time and it gets very frustrating that they can’t see they’re actually making things worse. Perhaps I should print off your list and stick it on the wall in the office!! #BloggerClubUK
It certainly wouldn’t hurt to give them a little nudge in the right direction! It can be so hard to stay positive when you’re surrounded by negativity all day.
This is a great reminder to be thankful for what we have and appreciate it more rather than focussing on how others are getting on. #bloggerclubuk