7 Ways to Appear Confident – Even When You’re Not

Have you ever dreaded an event you now you should be looking forward to because you don’t feel confident? I know I have. There’s always that underlying dread that you’ll say or do something stupid and end up embarrassing yourself.

And you know what? There’s a fair chance that a lot of the other people at the event are feeling the exact same way as you are inside, but they now how to hide it.

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “fake it until you make it”. It’s such a good phrase when it comes to confidence, because confidence is one of those things that you can fake. And as you fake your confidence, you’ll see that actually, you’re not embarrassing yourself and people do want to talk to you. And somewhere along the way, you’ll realise that you’re no longer faking it.

Here are seven things to do to make yourself appear confident – even when you’re not.

Smile

This is such an obvious one, but it’s one that’s easy to forget when your stomach is in knots and your palms are sweaty. A smile makes you seem approachable and happy, which gives the impression of confidence.

It almost means that if you’re at an event where people don’t really know each other, people will be more likely to talk to you if you look friendly.

Project

When you’re talking, try to project your voice rather than muttering. This doesn’t mean you should yell, but try to speak at a normal conversational volume, or maybe a little louder depending on the background noise. Muttering not only makes you look awkward, it also makes it uncomfortable for those talking to you who have to constantly ask you to repeat yourself.

Stand or Sit up Straight

Slouching can make you look like you’re trying to fold in on yourself. It can also make you look disinterested and that’s probably not the image you’re going for.

A confident person stands or sits tall, comfortable in their own skin. If this is difficult for you, try to roll your shoulders back and hold your stomach in just a little to instantly stop you from slouching.

Don’t Fidget

This one can be really hard. I tend to play with a strand of my hair, or a piece of jewellery (I do this even when I’m totally comfortable as it’s more of a habit than anything). Needing to constantly pull at your clothes, or moving your hands in and out of each other is a sign that you’re uncomfortable. It can detract from anything you are saying making it appear that people aren’t listening to you (they are, they’re just focusing on the movement) which can lead to your confident level dropping even further.

Stand or sit with your hands clasped in front of you to avoid the temptation to fidget.

Make Eye Contact

When you’re talking to someone, make eye contact with them. This is a sure sign that you’re a confident person, as those who aren’t tend to look at the floor, the sky, the walls, literally anything but the person they’re talking to. If holding eye contact feels creepy (like you’re staring at the person), flick your eyes around their face, taking in each eye, their mouth and then back again. Pause your gaze on each for a second or two so it doesn’t look like your eyes are rolling.

Pause When You’re Speaking

When we’re nervous, we tend to babble. Making a conscious effort to pause between sentences can stop you from doing this, and make it sound like you’re speaking confidently, even if you’re a blubbering wreck inside.

Speak Slowly

Like the point above, nerves tend to make people talk faster, even to the point where your sentences become garbled and all of your words run into one. Try to speak slowly and clearly. A plus point of this one is that it helps to stop you blurting out something inappropriate without thinking it through.

These little tricks might sound like they’re too subtle to make any difference, but they really can help you to come across as someone who is confident in any social or professional environment.

Do you suffer from a lack of confidence in social situations? If so, share some of your tips for appearing confident when you’re not in the comments 🙂

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