I got brave on Tuesday and posted a short story I had written. I am now getting even braver (stupider?) and running a four part story.
A new part will be published each Friday over the course of the month, so check back to see how the story progresses!
Originally, I wrote the first part of this story as a stand alone piece. I then sent it to a very good friend of mine to have a look over and spot any typos etc. and give me some feedback on what I could improve.
She suggested writing a follow up. I gave the idea some thought and before I knew it, it suddenly had four parts! Read on for Part One!
Done Deal – Part One: The Beginning
She woke with a start and sat bolt upright, her breath coming in short bursts, her heart pounding. Listening. No nothing.
Breathing a sigh of relief she adjusted her pillows and sat back against them, then reached for the water glass on her nightstand. Looking at the glass, she knew it could double up as a weapon. With a wry smile, she realised it would take more than a water glass to defend herself against this.
She took a sip, breathing deeply, trying to calm her heart rate. It was hard when the same thought kept running through her head.
‘This is it. This is the day it happens.’
The irony of waking at 3am, the Devil’s hour, wasn’t lost on her.
Eighteen years was a long time ago, but it felt like yesterday. Lying on the operating table, mid-caesarean. The doctor’s voice, loud and authoritative.
‘We’re losing them both.’ The sound of the machines bleeping desperately and a flash of light.
Then he was in front of her. The most beautiful man she had ever seen. She remembered thinking he must be her guardian angel.
‘I can save you both,’ he whispered.
If it was a mistake, it didn’t matter to her – he could save them both!
She eagerly agreed to the terms. Eighteen years was forever away. Or so she had thought. Now it was upon her and it hadn’t been long enough. Not even close.
She had thought her baby would be grown up by then, an adult. He was, but he was still a baby to her. She couldn’t leave him now. But what choice did she have? She’d made a deal with the Devil and he would take his payment.
Feeling a searing pain in her chest, she jerked roughly back to the present. She tried to breathe, to scream, but couldn’t. Darkness swallowed her.
*
* *
* *
She opened her eyes and looked slowly around. She was in a brightly lit room. As she struggled to get her bearings, the door opened and a man walked in, wearing a long white coat – a long white coat! He was a doctor and she was in hospital! The worry had brought on a heart attack she reasoned. She had done it! Somehow, she had beaten the Devil!
She watched the doctor closely as he thumbed through her chart, nodding and muttering to himself. He looked vaguely familiar to her but she couldn’t place him. It didn’t matter. None of it did. She was alive! It had all been in her head. A
reaction to the anaesthetic? She didn’t know and she didn’t care. The relief she felt was indescribable.
reaction to the anaesthetic? She didn’t know and she didn’t care. The relief she felt was indescribable.
The doctor smiled, his teeth brilliant white against his tanned skin.
‘Don’t worry, we’ll soon have it out,’ he purred.
Realisation dawned on her. He was familiar for a reason. Dread filled her, and worse, a feeling of terrible inevitability. The horror she felt must have been evident on her face, for he spoke again.
‘Oh Honey, you didn’t think I had forgotten our little arrangement did you?’
He walked towards her, the perfect smile never slipping, and she recoiled in horror.
As he plunged his hand through her stomach, she felt a pain like she’d never imagined possible. So this was it. Eternal damnation. Doomed to ultimate agony forever. She could cope with pain. She could. The memory of her son was all she
needed.
needed.
She tried to picture his face, but she couldn’t. All she could see was him. Cold horror filled her, as she heard his voice one last time.
‘Welcome to Hell Madam.’
What do you think? I hope you are looking forward to next week’s instalment!
You can read the rest here: Done Deal – Part Two: Darkness, Done Deal – Part Three: It Is Time and Done Deal – Part Four: Judgement
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Good grief, I'm glad I read this in the morning, not before I slept. Nice work. Very entertaining…and creepy!
Maybe posting it at midnight's not my best idea then lol! Thank you 🙂
Eeee that was a bit creepy. You are an excellent writer Debbie! Keep going! #momsterlink x
Aww thank you – I was so scared posting my own stories and everyone has been really supportive. I really appreciate your comments 🙂
You are absolutely brilliant. Love your writing! I am still working on mine in bits and pieces. Thanks for linking up with #momsterslink Debbie!
Thank you, that means a lot to me. Looking forward to reading yours 🙂 Thanks for hosting 🙂
An interesting read thus far… Your a fab writer! Angela xx
Angela recently posted "Yoda’s Antics- part 6"
Thank you Angela, that really means a lot to me 🙂
Ooo, I might just come back and read it all in one go hehe! What a great idea to publish it in stages over your blog though…keep the readers hooked 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
The last part goes live June 26th if you want to wait 🙂 Thank you for hosting 🙂
Fantastic writing hun. Love that you are doing it in stages. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. Hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round. #sharewithme
Aww thank you 🙂 I'll be there!
Good for you, stepping out and sharing your writings. Isn't that all blogging is anyway. Nicely done! Keep sharing your story at the #AnythingGoes Link Party.
Thanks Sandy! Yes, I guess it is, fiction just somehow felt scarier lol. I'll link the next parts up over the coming weeks. Thanks for hosting 🙂