Recently I’ve come across a few posts about people feeding other people’s children sweets etc at parties, and that maybe the child’s parents don’t want their child full of sugar.
On face value, I agree with the statement, then I read a post from the other side of the argument, basically saying (unless it’s a genuine allergy that could hurt the child) that as a parent it is up to you to police that, not the parent throwing the party.
I realised after seeing both sides, I am more in agreement with that statement. Why should someone else have to play bad cop and tell your child they are the only one who can’t have cake!
I’m not going to go into this issue any deeper. I’m not a parent and certainly don’t think I should be handing out parenting advice!
But it got me thinking about the wider issue of people making dietary choices and then forcing them on everyone else.
My main gripe with this is vegetarians and/or vegans. Sorry in advance to the vegetarians and vegans out there who don’t bitch and complain, don’t force their views on others and generally get on with their lives without letting diet be a big thing.
What irritates the life out of me is at parties when they sit moaning about the limited choice they have. You made the decision to exclude one or more major food groups, not your host.
Unless your host shares your food issues, they probably don’t know that many vegan recipes. Plus when you are catering a party, the majority of the food has to appeal to everyone. If this is somehow going to offend you, is it so hard to eat first? Or ask the host if you could bring something yourself? Or just suck it up, accept you made the decision and move on?
This is even more apparent at dinner parties. Again, I’m sure the host will make you something different if you tell them prior to the event. It isn’t a good idea to not mention it then turn up and complain when the food on offer contains things you choose not to eat.
But how many vegetarians or vegans would be happy to provide a meat dish for their guests? The majority, it seems, expect guests to eat whatever they have made which fits in with their chosen diet. Double standards anyone?
If I was in this situation, I wouldn’t for a second expect a vegetarian to serve up steak or a vegan to have a cheese platter. I would eat whatever they were serving, even if that was a struggle.
If I was to host a party and invite someone who falls into one of these categories, of course I would want them to tell me so I could make something they could eat. And all I would ask in return is if you come to me and get served vegetable casserole when everyone else has something slightly more exotic, you just eat it without complaining. Or don’t eat it, whatever, but don’t make a big scene about it!
I’m sure this post will offend some people, but I want to make it clear that I don’t have anything against vegetarians, vegans, or any of the other weird and wonderful dietary choices people make.
As long as you’re not lecturing me for eating meat, I won’t lecture you on your lack of protein (and yes that was tongue in cheek, obviously meat isn’t the only source of protein!)- each to their own!
The group of people I have something against are those who think they are the centre of everyone’s universe and everything should revolve around them, then consequently ruin someone else’s party with their incessant whining!
Remember, no one forced you to make the dietary choices you made (unless it’s medical)!
What do you think? Is that a little harsh or do you agree? Are you a vegetarian/vegan? If so what do you think about this issue?
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Haha! Love the quote at the end. For sure, I arrive well equipped to deal with my bouts of fussiness without comment. I accept that I am the weirdo who lives in Asia and doesn't eat rice…or fish. My issue. Not the hosts.
It must be quite a struggle living in Asia and not eating rice or fish! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's ok to just take your own stuff! 🙂
Interesting post! It's always awkward when people start pushing their life choices on others. I had some friends on the raw food diet a few years back and it drove me crazy listening to their preaching. I like meat and I like cooked food. Doesn't mean they have to, just like they shouldn't want me to start eating raw food..
Exactly – each to their own! I don't think I could do the raw food thing but I wouldn't tell anyone else not to, and by the same token, I wouldn't expect them to try and get me to eat raw stuff!
I think that the person who has the allergy, or the restriction should think ahead and bring something along with them for their child or themselves to events and such things. There are some things I just don't like. I don't complain if I'm somewhere and one is on the menu. I simply eat everything but that. There's a saying, "My house, my rules."
I totally agree! I'm quite fussy with certain things about what I will and won't eat, but I'm quite happy to leave anything I don't like without trying to make the host feel bad. 🙂
Facebook vegans! They have been deleted on several occasions and whilst I know a bunch of people with a load of different ideas on what to eat and why, the vocal ones are enough to give almost all of them a bad name despite being in such a massive minority. I don't even mind an intelligent debate on the subject, but the most vocal and the least well-informed.
The part that makes it worse is when they say "I'm not saying you should change, but you shouldn't be killing animals etc." So you ARE saying we should change and that you're right? Hmph.
This is a great post 🙂 Thanks for sharing! #effitfriday
I totally agree! If you want to be vegan, knock yourself out, just don't try to "convert" me. The worst ones are always the ones that have been eating meat for like 30 years and been vegan for 3 days! I don't mind a debate about the health benefits of dietary choices, or recipes etc, but the morality side just isn't going to cut it for me. Especially the issue of wearing wool. I maintain it is more cruel to not shear a sheep in summer and leave it to over heat. Once you have removed the wool anyway, why not use it?
Thanks for commenting and sharing 🙂
Just thought I would be nosey as I like a good rant but haven't written any to link up (yet). I completely agree with this post! I used to be a manager in a well known carvery brand, vegetarians would always moan about the limited choice…well you're in a carvery you muppet! Used to drive me wild! And on another note, when my kids are having birthday parties…I will be supplying cakes, chocolate, sweets and fizzy pop galore…if you don't want your kid eating that stuff then don't let them go to birthday parties! That's what they are about! They are kids for god sake! That's what I ate at parties when I was young…im still a size 10 with all my teeth intact! x
Exactly – why would you go to a carvery and expect it not to be meat!! I agree about the parties as well. Obviously if you don't want to overload your kids on sugar everyday that's up to you but as a treat at a party surely it's ok, and if not then don't expect all the other kid to have to eat carrot sticks to keep you happy!! Thanks for commenting 🙂
I don't eat cheese or fish, or anything which combines sweet and savory. I always wrangle over letting a dinner host know in advance, but usually decide to just arrive and take my chances. My issue not the host's and worst case scenario I'll always eat any kind of dessert, so will just fill up on that!
I think it's ok to tell them, they would probably want you to enjoy your meal, but equally I think it's ok not to as long as you are willing to just eat the bits you do like and not make fuss. A definite bonus to not telling the host is extra dessert though lol 🙂
I think you make really good points, Debbie. I'm the kind of person who would rather not have people make a fuss. I am a bit of a picky eater, and if I know I'm going somewhere where they may not have foods that I'd want to eat, I just bring my own! #anythinggoes
Exactly – I'm sure your host would rather you do that than make them feel bad for not providing anything you like 🙂 Thanks for commenting 🙂
I agree. Your choice is your own so don't fuss about it to other people. #anythinggoes
Exactly! Thanks for commenting 🙂
I do always wonder what vegans eat. But thats another post entirely! So true, I eat anything and if I don't like it I simply leave that portion. Though thats rare and I love when people feed me so I'm probably the other end of the scale having seconds and thirds. Not sure whats worse 🙂 thanks for linking with #effitfriday Debbie!x
Having seconds and thirds at least shows your host you enjoyed the food lol. Thanks for hosting 🙂
One of my children eats a significantly different diet due to allergies and I see that it is up to us to provide for him rather than others. We certainly do have to take responsibility for ourselves in life. There is often that inference that someone is doing it the right way when actually there is no one way to be.
Obviously with allergies its not a choice, but I love that you provide something for him so the hosts aren't left in an awkward position 🙂
Completely agree with you!! You do hear a lot of complainers at functions, and it does piss me off too. It's different I think if it's involuntary ie. celiac disease, or nut allergies, but those people are usually the ones not complaining…….it's the ones who choose their particular diet. Great post though #TwinklyTuesday
If it's a genuine health risk and not a choice then I can understand it, I still think its a good idea to give your host a heads up though (especially if it is an extreme allergy where nothing used to make the food can come into contact with say nuts). But you're right – the people who have these condition are rarely the ones making a fuss, it's always the holier than thou crowd complaining in my experience!
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
I think there's a difference in people saying something due to allergies than just as a life choice. In any life choice I don't force it on to others. It's rude and ignorant. I eat everything and anything but cook vegetarian a lot. I stopped saying if bits were or not as my.brother would moan. Now he eats and doesn't realise. I think some people who be and moan for the sake of it. Which is obviously annoying. Your choice, your views, accept and be proud inwardly, discuss outwardly if asked etc but don't koan and whine. #bigfatlinky
Yes, if it allergies then that's different, but I still think it's manners to give the host a heads up in advance so they can accommodate for it. I totally agree, some people do just like to moan! Thanks for hosting 🙂
Well I'm totally on your side (I have a sneaky suspicion I may have written the post you alluded to), if you have a different diet that is your choice (medical aside) so either expect others to not cater for you, explain well in advance or cater for yourself.
Alternatively as my dad (a vegetarian for more years than I can remember) was once informed, "you can have an egg" 🙂 Great post.
Thank you 🙂 It's just basic manners to inform people in advance or just suck it up and not moan! And your sneaky suspicion is correct 🙂
I have a vege friend who I really need to invite round for dinner but genuinely don't know what to cook! We eat meat, a lot of meat! Meat just tastes so yummy doesn't it?! I don't like Zach eating too much cake or other sugary stuff and I have before said ok that's enough now, or no just because you just turned three year old cousin is eating candy sticks, you are darn well not – who the heck gives their 3 year old candy sticks?!! Love this post! thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Meat rules! I don't know how anyone can be vegetarian, but each to their own. I would struggle cooking for a vegetarian as well!
Wow giving a 3 year old candy sticks is a bit much! Thank you for hosting 🙂
haha this post just made me smile.I l love the rantiness of it! I don't know many veggies or vegans and luckily the ones I do know haven't been to bad about their diets or too moany. But I do agree it is a life choice and they are possibly in the minority so the majority as catered for! I've been on a low protein diet all week and it is flipping hard. Much harder than vegan even. Veggies/vegans can eat a lot more xx #binkylinky
I may have gotten a bit carried away lol but it does just big me when people moan about the consequences of their choices! I tend to do low carb, high protein and it is hard, but I wouldn't expect anyone else to cater specifically for me 🙂
Agree! I've got food allergies and would always tell the Host in advance of any dinner I've been invited too so they can tweak the menu. I always ask people we've invited if there is stuff they can't eat.
Not telling people beforehand and then turning your nose up at what's on your plate is rude!
#binkylinky
Thank you. It's good to know there are some people who have allergies/a certain diet who tell the host in advance! It's awful when people turn up with no warning then moan. 🙂
Love the rant on this post did make me smile far too many people think they know better these days and its not always a good thing I completely get your point I Love the little word picture at the end! #BinkyLinky
Thank you, it really bugs me that people moan about something they had the chance to change in advance but didn't!
Having grown up with food sensitivities and now having children with varying allergies I have always seen it as our responsibility to provide suitable food so surely this should be the same for people who have chosen their dietary restrictions! Right? I must admit it does suck being 'that kid' who rocks up to birthday parties with a plate of your own food though lol. Thanks for linking up with #sundaystars x
If it's a choice, then you would definitely expect it to be the same, even more so really. An allergy is unavoidable. I do feel for the kids though, it's not like they've chosen it (even if its not allergy related, its probably the parent's choice) Thanks for hosting 🙂
You make some good points and I have to agree with you! Sorry the comment for last weeks #BinkyLinky is a little late, we were on holiday and only got back late last night!
Thank you 🙂 No problem, hope you had a good time 🙂 Thanks for hosting
Well said sister!! Xxx
Thank you 🙂 x
I totally agree with you! People who’ve made dietary changes purely for lifestyle reasons tend to be the evangelical ones who need everyone to know why they’re not eating a certain thing.
Gluten is a big one – I’m sick of hearing everyone telling me how great being gluten-free is, when they have the option of eating a normal pizza without ending up in hospital in agony and with an awful rash – I have gluten allergy and would give anything for GF to be a lifestyle choice, but I have to take responsibility for my health and therefore I never expect people to change plans for my benefit!
That must be very frustrating! I often find that people with allergies, who have a genuine reason to let someone know they can’t have a certain thing, make very little fuss, and the people who just choose to not eat something are the ones making all the noise about it.