Last week, I caught a snippet on the radio where a mum was defending a picture she posted on Instagram. It went viral, leading to her receiving a lot of hate. I Googled it to see what all the fuss was about.
You can read Buzzfeed’s story here for more details.
Basically, this lady posted a photo on Instagram of her Christmas tree kind of dwarfed by presents for her three kids (she later said the present were for the whole family, not just the children).
It got me thinking about why we can’t just leave people alone. She’s not hurting anyone.
Admittedly, I think it’s a lot of presents, but is it excessive?
That’s not for me or anyone else to judge.
If you want to use Christmas to teach children about the value of money etc that’s your business, just like it’s her business if she chooses to buy her children lots of presents.
What gives anyone else the right to leave nasty comments on her picture?
The comments seem to centre around a couple of things:
- Calling her children “spoilt brats”. Unless you know them personally, you have no idea if they are spoilt brats or not. Just because they get a lot of presents doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate them. Plus, attacking a child is low – if you have some sort of issue with the picture, remember the children didn’t buy the presents, nor did they post the photo.
- Saying she is showing off. Remember, by Instagram standards, this is a pretty small account, or it was at the time of posting this photo. It’s not exactly showing off to share a picture with a handful of people who she probably considered as friends.
- Saying she shouldn’t have bought them so much. Why is this anyone else’s business? Unless you paid for them, it really isn’t.
I’m sure a lot of comments came from the usual “jumping on the bandwagon” troll mentality. Some maybe came from jealous people who wish they could afford that many presents for their kids. Sadly, a lot probably came from ordinary people, who are neither trolls or jealous. People who don’t realise that this is a form of bullying.
Ironically, some comments went along the lines of buying this amount of presents is going against the spirit of Christmas, unlike slating a stranger on the internet presumably.
There was a few saying that if she could afford that many presents, she should donate some to charity. Maybe she should, it would certainly help them out, but who’s to say she hasn’t?
Maybe she has donated loads of presents, maybe she has monthly donations set up to several charities.
The comment that did sort of resonate with me where the ones that said about children who received a lot less maybe being upset when they heard what these kids got. My heart goes out to any child who isn’t in a position to receive a gift at Christmas, truly it does. But is that a reason to not buy things for your own child?
However little you spend on them at Christmas, there might be a child who received less. It is not up to the lady in question to use her children to teach other children life lessons. It is up to their parents to teach them the meaning of their Christmas and that presents aren’t what its all about if that’s how they feel.
I think the majority of parents would want their child to have the best Christmas possible, and if to them that means buying them a lot of gifts then why shouldn’t they?
Why should they be left disheartened at Christmas (or any time) for doing what they feel is best for their child?
And perhaps most importantly, what gives anyone else the right to judge?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you think that by posting something on social media you are inviting judgement? Do you think that’s ok? Let me know in the comments 🙂
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It really is her business though people are free to react. I just hope they didn’t have to bash her on her account as it’s her account.
If you think about it, it is a little extravagant unless they have a really really big family. I hope she teach her children to give some of their presents away though or give their old stuff to make room for the new ones. It’s okay to receive presents so long as you don’t forget to also give.
I agree that people are free to react, but I think there is a difference between reacting and cyber bullying, and when you read some of the comments this picture received it is a form of bullying.
It looks kind of extravagant, but I read that she spent £1500, that’s £500 per child. I know some people who spend more than that on a laptop or iPhone before even getting other presents and no one bats an eyelid.
I do think giving is important at Christmas as well though.
The whole saga has been ridiculous in my opinion – it’s up to her and her family how they celebrate Christmas. The only thing which could have made it more of a field day for the echo chamber of social media outrage was if the family had been on benefits, so they could be even more self-righteous about it. #effitfriday
Exactly, they aren’t hurting anyone! Oh wow, could you imagine! The negative brigade would have been in their element.
Who cares what they do at Christmas? It seems to me that they aren’t hurting anyone, and the picture looks quite funny to me! #effitfriday
Exactly! My only real thought about the picture was I would be gutted spending all the time decorating my tree for it to be hidden like that lol 🙂
I read this Debbie and felt just let a mother do what she pleases and if they knew all the facts, half the gifts were second hand anyway! I am giving Sylvia quite a lot this year as i got some lovely samples after doing my wish lists etc and why not! We had a crap few years and lets enjoy them now while we can I say!
That’s my point exactly – if you can do something and you want to, then why not! No one knows what’s going to happen in the future, so I say live for now, and enjoy every minute!
Yes, I do think that by posting on social media you are inviting judgment. Do I think that makes it right for people to judge? Absolutely not, but that is the day and age we live in. Everyone wants to always be trying to clean up their neighbors backyard when their own is a mess as well.
That being said, I agree with you 100%. It is nobody’s business but this mother’s what she does or doesn’t buy her children. She is the one making the money, she has the right to spend it however she sees fit.
I remember growing up always getting a LOT of presents as well. Then when I got older, it was kind of a let down that I didn’t continue to get so many presents. That would be the only word of caution I would give to her, would be that she may be setting them up for disappointment later in life. But then again, everyone is going to face disappointment at one time or another.
I really like this post and your point of view!
I totally agree with your first point – I don’t think putting something on social media gives anyone the right to judge it, but all know it will happen.
I think as kids get older they do understand the value of money more and as such will realise that at some point, the present may cut down in the volume they receive.
Thank you and thanks for a really interesting comment 🙂
Well said. I think some people judge others too easiest before they know the whole story. By posting it on social media she had to expect comments but why?? Who gives us the right to judge others. Great post. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx
I think some people go out of their way to look for things to criticise people for sometimes. You’re right, you would expect comments but not the amount she got. Thanks and thanks for hosting 🙂 x
I agree with you Debbie. It’s not up to anyone else how this family spends their money or how they choose to celebrate their Christmas. Another person could spend that money on a weekend away. To each their own! #justanotherlinky x
Exactly, it’s her money so why shouldn’t she spend it on whatever she wants! x
Agree with you 100%. Lately Christmas has become a competition to see who can buy the least for their child and anyone who buys their child more than a charity Oxfam goat in Africa and a satsuma is vile and has a spoilt brat! It’s ridiculous! #effitfriday
Thank you 🙂 That is so true, it used to be a competition to buy the most, now it’s the least. Why can’t everyone just buy their children whatever they want to!
I’ve got my son one present this year as I know he’ll get some from family and I think he’s too young to have expectations. I know there would be plenty of people with something to say about my (non-existent) tree with one paltry (and cheap) present. I read recently that almost all anger comes from a place of shame. People definitely need to look at where the feelings are coming from.
I’m sure the same people who judged the lady in the post for getting too much would have some sort of opinion on your way too! They really do need to take a long, hard look at themselves. Christmas is about whatever you want it to be and doing whatever you want to for your children!
I did catch this story myself and my initial thoughts were of how much money the women must have spent and how it was a bit silly in my opinion. Your absolutely right that who are we to judge what someone else deems as appropriate or not but its so easy to draw comparisons to our own lives and ideas. Christmas for us as children, even though we had money, was that we all had about £100 each spent on us however I do see how parents spend a lot more as this year I have had to stop myself buying our 2yr old loads and loads of stuff. We spend around £100 on her and I think that’s plenty but as I say, that’s my opinion. I also think unfortunately if you post things on social media you have to be prepared for potential negativity as there are a lot of jealous people out there. Interesting post! 🙂
#justanotherlinky
I appreciate it’s not always easy not to judge, no one is perfect and we’ve all done it! Where I think it goes too far is to start leaving abusive comments on people’s photos, especially when they bring someone’s children into it.
It’s about finding what works for you and your family – whether you spend £1, £100 or £1000!
That’s true, whatever we post online these days, there is someone who will find something negative!
Thank you and thanks for the thought provoking comment 🙂
I completely agree with you (my #justanotherlinky post was in a similar vein) – especially the part about spoilt brats. Children can be spoiled and not spoilt. I will always defend that. You can give children a lot and still teach them the value of it. Yes, this seems like an excessive amount of presents, but if I stacked my presents up rather than outwards then, yes, it may reach similar heights. And, if it was for her whole family then who knows how many siblings, uncles, aunties, cousins, friends she has. I agree with you – let’s worry about ourselves rather an anonymous woman on the internet who isn’t really hurting anyone!
I totally agree with your views on children – if you can’t spoil a child at Christmas then when can you. And of course spoiling them at Christmas doesn’t mean they are spoilt brats! If everyone did worry about themselves and not waste time attacking strangers’ internet photos, then maybe those people would find something more productive to do with their time!