3 Ways To Let Go Of Past Grudges

Holding grudges is never a good idea. It fills your mind with negative thoughts and your heart with negative emotions.

You know who that affects? You.

Not the guy who broke your heart ten years ago, or the teacher who made you feel stupid once in the third grade.

There’s a higher than average chance they don’t even know you feel that way towards them, and a 50/50 chance they wouldn’t much care.

Holding onto hate makes us sad, angry, frustrated and can even affect our health. It is important to let that go for our own sakes.

It would be nice to even forgive the person who wronged us, even if it’s only in our own minds, but forgiveness isn’t easy. Letting go isn’t easy either, but I think it’s easier to move on from something than to forgive it.

Just let go of the negative thoughts and move on, like the person who wronged you probably did. You are only holding yourself back.

So how can we let go of the feelings?

If it’s a recent event, and someone you care about, I would say have an open, honest conversation with the person. If it’s someone close to you, they probably will care and will explain their actions and try to make it right.

If it’s an event from the past, or involving someone you aren’t particularly close to and don’t need in your life, it can be trickier to confront them.

Here are my top three tips for letting go of old grudges:

Write Them A Letter

Sit down and write a letter to the person who you have a grudge against.

Tell them what they did and how it made you feel. Get angry.

Tell them why they have no right to treat you that way and why you deserve better. Let every bit of negative emotion come out – the anger, the upset, the feeling of betrayal or shame. Whatever you feel, write it all down there.

Now shred it, or burn it. Destroy it any way you choose, and allow the anger you are holding onto to be destroyed with it.

Allow Yourself To Get Mad

Schedule in a time, an hour, an afternoon, however long you think you will need. For that slot of time, allow yourself to feel your feelings.

Take that anger and upset and pour it into something physical.

Go to a gym and knock hell out of a punch bag, run, lock yourself in a room and scream and punch some pillows, go to a shooting range and blast some targets. Choose any activity that appeals to you and pour all of that emotion into it. Cry if you feel you want to.

After the time is up, the endorphins brought on by physical exertion will instantly lift your mood. Repeat this whenever you feel that old resentment creeping back up.

Evaluate The Situation

First, ask yourself if these feelings are really about the situation or if you are maybe projecting feelings about something more serious onto an issue that normally wouldn’t bother you. If you decide this is the case, then you need to work on whatever it is that is really upsetting you.

If it really is due to whoever you holding that grudge against, ask yourself if it was really so bad.

Remember the first example of a guy that broke your heart? Maybe that needed to happen so you could recognise a bad relationship, leaving you open to a good one, the kind you deserve.

That teacher who embarrassed you in front of the class? Did it make you more determined to achieve your dreams and show them they were wrong about you?

Sometimes, the things that seemed the worst at the time are actually moulding us into the person we need to become, or sending us to the place we need to be at the time we need to be there.

Further Help

Again, if you are holding onto negativity, it is only yourself you are hurting. I can’t stress this enough. It is so important to your mental well being (and sometimes your physical well being) that you let this go.

This post is meant to be a fairly light hearted way of letting go of grudges about things that, in the big scheme of things, aren’t that important.

If you find yourself feeling this way to the point of becoming depressed, or the grudges you are holding onto are bigger than that, then I seriously recommend you seek some help. Speak to your GP, a nurse at the practice, or a counsellor. There is no weakness in seeking help and when you have worked through your feelings, it will be like a weight has been lifted from your mind. You deserve to be happy.

Are you someone who holds onto grudges, or do you find it fairly easy to let go? Do you have any tips to add? Let me know in the comments 🙂

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