Welcome to day ten of the A to Z Challenge! My theme is 100 word (give or take a word or two) flash fiction on the darker side of human nature. I hope you enjoy.
Jump
She sees a man standing on the bridge’s edge. She asks him what he is doing. He tells her he is preparing to jump, he has nothing and no one to live for. His voice wavers on the words. He is uncertain. She could talk him down, she knows she could. She could be a hero. The person who saves the day. She could save a life, make a difference. She ponders. Maybe this is what he wants. Who is she to argue. Leaning in towards him, close to his ear, she whispers one word. ‘Jump.’
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Let me know what you think in the comments 🙂
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Deep sigh. I don’t want her around when I’m in a vulnerable state…
No, me neither!
She is evil, but then again you are writing dark stories so I’ve come to expect nothing less. If she had attempted to save his life the story wouldn’t have any conflict and really would have lacked the twist and surprise ending that your famous for. So, I loved it. It’s actually one of my favorites so far. It’s so simple, yet just as eerily dark and disturbing as the others. With one simple word you managed to change the entire tempo of the story. It’s fascinating.
Melissa Sugar
Thank you, I’m really glad you liked it 🙂 This was actually one of the ones I was most nervous about posting as I wasn’t sure it was dark enough, but it seems people think this one is actually creepier than the others!
This may be your most chilling yet. I hope he was a stubborn type, who immediately said no and walked off the bridge.
This would make a fantastic opening scene for a novel, just expanded a little.
I hope so, then inadvertently, she would have given him a reason to not jump. This is another one I would like to expand on, I am definitely going to be very busy writing this next couple of months 🙂
Yea, I’m not coming to you if I need a pep talk! Interesting take on the situation. Found your blog through the A to Z Challenge. Keep up the good work.
Lol, I assure you this is purely fiction! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
I want to not like her. I want to tell her that’s not nice, but there’s also this part of me. This dark, human part of me that wants to say…yes. Tell him to jump. This part of me that sometimes wants to come out, but I have to keep pushing back. Intriguing post, and I would agree with the comments above. Great opening for a novel for sure! 🙂
This is what I find fascinating about human nature – we often find ourselves battling such opposite emotions. Thank you 🙂
That is chilling. Even as a fiction piece, I don’t see how someone could do that. I guess this character is a sociopath.
~Ninja Minion Patricia Lynne aka Patricia Josephine~
Thank you 🙂 Yes, definitely a sociopath!
Most most chilling Debbie, suspensefully told! Given me the chills!
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Welcome in the letter “J”… thank you!
Jeremy [Retro]
AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2016]
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Oh no! Horrible but very well written story!
Susan A Eames from Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you 🙂
I love this! So unexpected and macabre! Nice work.
Thank you, glad you liked it 🙂
I like the idea that the wannabe jumper would look her in the eye and tell her to go to hell.
That would be a fab outcome!
Ooh, what if this is a test to decide where she goes on the after life because actually, she is dead and doesn’t know.
Oh, that would be fab! I actually wrote a short story on that kind of theme. Just search for “Done Deal” here on the blog if you want to read it 🙂
I agree
It’s so simple but this one creeps me out the most!
Thank you, I’m glad it was still creepy enough!
Oooh…scary! I used the word ‘Jump’ too for J, but my post was related to heartbreak.
Thank you 🙂 yes, I read that post, it’s weird how we could both use the same word but have such different posts!
Hi Deb, great idea for the A to Z. She doesn’t seem on first glance to be terribly sweet, but perhaps she is the jilted EX and he is thinking of jumping cos he has just lost everything to her in court cos the judge thought he needed to be punished for bonking her sister and mother and cousin and her dad.
Thank you 🙂 Lol, I love that theory!
I am loving the twists in your posts! As with some of your other posts, I really want to know what happens next 🙂 x
Thank you I’m glad you’re enjoying them 🙂 This is another I am tempted to expand on! x
love it. I like seeing things mixed up a bit and told from 3rd person also. I always had a much harder time writing from that perspective
Thank you 🙂 I find it harder to write this way too, it seems much harder to get into the character’s head this way somehow.
I agree
I might try to talk him down but sometimes that only makes the person argue and want to do it more so I might play reverse psychology on the guy and probably say the same thing, though I don’t think I would have whispered it in his ear. That makes it creepy. She does consider talking him down first then goes makes the other choice. I like it! Thanks so much for hosting #anythinggoes Debbie!
I think if I was on the bridge and someone told me to jump, it would probably have the reverse effect on me being that I can be a little stubborn! Yeah, if you actually want to save the person whispering creepily probably isn’t the way to go 🙂 You’re welcome, thanks for linking up
I think you could publish this A-Z as an e-book! Great stuff! #AnythingGoes
Thanks Luke. I am considering expanding some of the stories and doing that 🙂
Well she sounds like a bit of a bitch doesn’t she! #AnythingGoes
Lol, yeah she does 🙂
My beat friend committed suicide, I wished I could have been there to stop her, so many times I have envisaged that I could have done something or said something to change her mind. One day someone asked me though if it was selfish to save someone who didn’t want to be saved. Did we only want to save them so we didn’t suffer, so we didn’t feel the guilt? Maybe it is, maybe she is a peace now and who am I to take that away from her? But I miss her everyday, I miss my friend. I wish I could have saved her. #anythinggoes
That’s really sad MacKenzie, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. Maybe it would be selfish, but on the other hand, maybe then your friend would have got some help and been happy. I guess we can never really know.
Everyone’s jumping to sociopath! It’s scarier to think it was said in a moment of madness not thinking that it would actually happen. Crowd behaviour is dangerous. The anonymity of a group makes the unthinkable seem acceptable.
There’s a Rammstein song about this. The poor guy only wanted to see the view but a howling mob screams at him to jump. While he looks at the crowd below one of them sneaks up behind him and kicks him off the edge to save him from the shame.
#AnythingGoes
It is actually scarier to think of it this way – that someone “normal” could do this.
Oh wow, the thought of that song gives me chills!
It’s in German, here’s the translation. It’s a grinding beast of a riff scored with some creepy piano and backing vocals. The word ‘Spring’ has never sounded so menacing.
Thanks for the link 🙂 That is a truly horrifying song, made worse by the fact I could imagine this happening!
Oh man I like this. Excellent. #AnythingGoes
Thank you so much 🙂
Twisted but good. I like the concept and I love seeing that other people are a little dark and twisty sometimes.
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂 That definitely sums me up lol!
Not to fear – you got the creep factor again. The simplicity of the one word & the fact that it goes against your initial reaction is what makes it so chilling! #AnythingGoes x
Thanks Becky, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂 x
Very dark, but I like the twist. & the truth is those people whose response would be that, do exist. In thankfully small numbers, but they do. #anythinggoes
Thank you 🙂 Yes, I think they exist too, as you say in small numbers, but it’s a definite possibility that this could happen
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Well THAT was not what I expected!
Haha 😉