As a lot of you probably know, I work full time as a barmaid. I’m quite lucky in that the pub I work in generally has nice
customers – of course on a weekend there’s the odd idiot, but they are quickly put out.
These five things are things I hear way too often – and probably not the best things to say if you don’t want to across as someone irritating:
1. When you’re ready…
This one is used in two contexts, both equally irritating.
One, is sarcastically if the customer believes you haven’t jumped quickly enough to their command – how dare we not notice that customer is the centre of the universe.
The second is when you are already serving someone, and the next customer gives you their order, along with “when you’re ready”. I can see you stood there, and when I’m ready to serve you, you will know. That is the appropriate time to give your order.
Plus, on a really busy night, if I wait until I’m actually ready to serve you, you could be there a long time.
2. Carling Darling
I can’t fathom out why people think this is funny. It isn’t. It wasn’t funny the first time, and it certainly isn’t funny the 3 millionth time. Maybe I should start responding “how’s that, t**t” see how funny they think that is (in all fairness, most of the regulars probably would think that was funny).
3. Why are you working on your own?
You know when it’s unexpectedly busy and you’re running around like a lunatic? And then someone says this. It makes me want to scream. Generally, it’s because we don’t have a crystal ball and we didn’t expect the bus trip in.
4. Anything involving cringeworthy sexual advances
Now, I’m not talking about a bit of harmless flirtation here. I’m talking about when men in their sixties are openly commenting on what they would like to do to the nineteen year old barmaid. Not only is it wrong on every level, but trust me, if you do this, all of the bar staff will be laughing at how sad and pathetic you are.
5. The beer is better/cheaper/insert pretty much anything here next door
Really? If that’s true, then why are you here? And why do you expect me to care?
If the beer really is better/cheaper/whatever next door, go there. If it isn’t, then why lie?
I’m not going to magically lower the prices 
because you said this (you should note here that our lager ranges from £2.32-£2.37 and our beer ranges from £2-£2.25 a pint so it’s not like we’re expensive).
And the two things you should say?
Please and thank you. It’s not hard and it goes a long way. It not something you expect to have to tell adults, but anyone who’s ever worked in a bar (or retail) will know the sad truth of the matter – so many people just don’t bother.
Have you ever worked in a bar? How many of these did you hear? Which particular phrase/action really wound you up? Let me know in the comments 🙂
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Everyone thinks they’re being so clever. And they’re not. Which is why the quicker you think of something, the more likely the person you’re saying it to has heard it before. But, people that make those comments aren’t exactly known for their smarts.
That’s so true Liz – the smart people politely order their drinks, make some casual conversation and move on with their lives lol
I have never worked in a bar but i can understand how these would wind you up. Is ‘carling darling’ really a thing? Oh my god how annoying is that? #AnythingGoes
Sadly it is! I didn’t believe it either until I started working there lol!
Please and Thank You
Boom
Mic Drop
#anythinggoes
Haha 🙂
Yes to all of this. I’m having flashbacks now.
Haha, sorry!
I haven’t worked in a bar but I dated someone once who was an AM and sat at the bar many a night,(damn unsociable hours!) and hands down I don’t know how you do it. I’ve witnessed so many ignorant people and when they’ve had too much to drink?! I’ve been on the end of some lewd comments (girl on her own, sat at the bar, you can imagine!) and it’s just embarrasing! I have worked in retail and it’s unbelievable how many people seem to forget their manners! #anythinggoes
It’s so cringe isn’t it when they’re slurring their words and pawing at you and they’re old enough to be your dad!
Love this! Manners don’t cost a thing!
#anythinggoes
Thank you 🙂 Exactly!
While I have never worked in a bar, I can say that a lot of these go for any customer service-type job. I work in a retail pharmacy and we hear about how “such and such” store only charges this-or-that much – so go shop there and stop complaining to me!
Being nice to people all day (or night) is exhausting – I feel your pain!
#Anythinggoes
We get that one too and I’m with you on the “go there then” thing! It is exhausting lol
I used to work in an expensive hotel and I was amazed at how little I heard those words, please and thank you. It was so nice when we did get them. Means a lot doesn’t it. #bloggerclubuk
It really does! I couldn’t imagine not using basic manners but so many people just don’t bother!
I think so many people think they are the first one to say certain sayings and comments or jokes and they think they are brilliant it is irritating isn’t it! #bloggerclubUK
It really is! Especially when it’s the fifth time you’ve heard it in the hour!
Oh god, this takes me back! I used to work in a pub and at a hotel bar, people are daft. I have also worked in a convenience store and a coffee shop and believe me, they have their own variations! #bloggerclubuk
People really are daft! I can imagine!
popping back too from #anythinggoes xx
Thanks for stopping by 🙂 x
Never worked in a bar, but I’ve definitely witnessed my fair share of these while waiting at the bar! So I can imagine just how frustrating it can get! #BloggerClubUk
It’s being stuck in an endless loop of unfunny some days lol!
I bet some of the “banter” barmaids receive is infuriating! Good on you for posting this – take no crap ha ha xxx #BloggerClubUK
It gets old pretty quickly! I’m quite lucky in that the pub I work in isn’t one of those where you have to kiss up to people. If they’re rude to us, they get the same attitude back! x
Manners go such a long way! It’s amazing how people sometimes forget basic politeness or somehow don’t think it applies to them. #bloggerclubuk
I agree! I once saw a sign that summer it up well. It went somewhere along the line of “coffee £2.50, coffee please £2”
I work in a shop and you could probably have written this post for shop assistants too 🙂
My worst comment is ‘it must be free’ when something doesn’t scan. In all my years I have never known this comment to work lol.
Keep smiling.
#BloggerClubUK
I think shop work must be even worse because you can’t just chuck people out! I’ve never worked in a shop, but even as customer, the comment about it must be free makes me cringe!
Haha, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say ‘carling darling’ but can imagine how unfunny it would quickly become if you hear it all the time! I worked in a bar one summer and really enjoyed it, but it was a quiet country pub so had a nice relaxed vibe to it! x #BloggerClubUK
I do enjoy it, but there’s always a few who ruin it! The country pub sounds like a nicer place to work! x
I worked in bars and restaurants for years and heard all of these. I used to pride myself on being able to keep tabs on who would arrive at the bar for service first. I used to get really wound up when people would ‘queue jump’ and give me their order. I would always correct them with ‘actually this person was next.’ The actual next person was always thankful.
#BloggerClubUK
I hate queue jumpers! I always make sure to send them to the back of the line – its so unfair on all the people who wait their turn!
I’ve never worked in a bar or been a waitress or barmaid. I admire anyone who has the skills to be able to do it, though! I would be absolutely rubbish. I’d get stressed if I got behind with orders, I have a memory like a sieve so I would forget their order by the time I’d spun round to tap it into the til…I also NEED people to like me and be kind to me and I can completely miss a joke and not be ready with a witty retort if put on the spot by someone….I can’t do confrontation either… Apart from that, I’d be marvellous 😉 #bloggerclubuk
Haha – I really don’t think you’d enjoy bar work!
I used to work in the bar at a Leisure Centre where we regularly did functions. Some people were so rude when we were clearly working our socks off. I hated working the 18th and 21st birthday parties and much preferred the weddings, 40th, 50th and 60th. People were so much nicer. Good experience though, makes you nicer the other side of the bar.
Sally @ Life Loving
We don’t do 18th birthday parties – the agro that comes with them just isn’t worth it. I agree about the experience – everyone should work pubs or retail for at least 6 months so they understand how to be reasonable people when visiting these places!
I can imagine the scene! It’s one of those industries that just lends itself to those kind of ‘funnies’ isn’t it. The only thing that gets my goat is when it’s young men only serving young girls or vice versa. Makes me feel my age! #BloggerClubUK
Yes, it comes with the territory I think. That annoys me too – it’s really not hard to know who’s next and just serve in order
Well said! I always have a smile and a thank you for my bartender. Why would I be anything other than lovely to three person who is in charge of G&T? #bloggerclubuk
Thank you 🙂 haha yes, exactly – I wish more people saw it that way!
A little bit of cheeriness and some Ps and Qs can really brighten someone’s day! I’ve worked in several highstreet shops over the years and, as someone who really loves shopping, I used to hate that all the customers were enjoying shopping and I was “at work”. So I always try and be extra nice to the staff that are working when I’m shopping (or at the pub!) #BloggerClubUK
Yes, the nice customers make it worthwhile! I try to be extra nice to bar staff and store staff too for the same reason
I have never worked in a bar, but I can’t believe people still think it’s ok to say things like this! I also think it’s crazy that so many people still don’t know how to say please and thank you….my baby is 15 months and even he knows how to say it! #BloggerClubUK
It seems that if you’re behind a bar, you’re fair game! I swear children have better manners than grown ups these days
Debbie, I worked in a lot of bars when at university and like you always hated the “when you are ready” line, normally finished off with a “love” for good measure. “Over here” was another annoying one as well as comments about my ability to ensure there was a good head on the beer! Enough already. It was however also a very good laugh! #bloggerclubuk
Yes, it is usually with a “love” on the end! The head comments are pretty annoying too – it’s like mate you’re pushing 80 have some dignity lol 🙂
Yes! I worked in a bar for just over a year. That was enough time to put me off for good. People can be so rude!
#BloggerClubUK
I’ve worked in a bar for 13 years – I’m a glutton for punishment lol!
Wow you have more patience than me listening to these types of things! Good list….I clearly don’t go to many bars as never heard carling darling to be honest as a fellow customer I think I would have to say something about that one! #bloggerclubuk
My shifts go by in a blur of eye rolls and loud sighs lol! Carling darling is so not funny – I wish you could be a customer where I work and tell them to shut up haha
I worked as a bar maid on and off for about 5 years and I heard all of these! I used to purposefully not serve customers if they shouted their orders at me when I was busy and I’d make them wait..the polite ones always got served with the nicest smile but it’s surprising how many people don’t know how to say please. ‘Carling darlinh’ used to wind me up too and I had way too many creepy old men try it on. Phew, I’m so glad I’m not a bar maid anymore!!xx #BloggerClubUK
I tend to ignore the rude customer too, especially the ones who think it’s ok to whistle or bang on the bar! Not much longer for me now. I’ll miss the craic but not the rude customers and the creeps! x
Very true! Takes me back to my bargirl days 🙂
It never leaves you lol
I used to work in a pub, often on very busy Friday nights and hated it when people would say when you’re ready..! Drove me mad! #BloggerClubUK
It’s so annoying. When it’s busy, if they really waited until you were ready, it would be a hell of a long wait lol!
Cringy sexual advances are the worst of the worst. When you have a minute is cheaky too! I worked as a bartender in the US but the good thing there is that people would tip you! Here there’s the abuse with no tips! lol #BloggerClubUK x
I know – it’s so awkward! And the people doing it always think they’re hilarious! Tips would definitely be a bonus lol 🙂 x
I was a barmaid in my late teens and I heard all of these, particularly the sexual comments!! I didn’t last long in the job put it that way! #BloggerClubUK
I’m quite lucky in that the pub I work in doesn’t expect us to tolerate this – we don’t have to snivel round rude customers like some poor barmaids do!
Oh man I have all of this as a waitress and while working in retail (though the second one, Carling Darling I have never heard. I don’t even know what that means. Is that british slang?). I hate the comment, when you’re ready and I absolutely hated when I was in my twenties and I would have 50 and 60 year old men try to take me home. I was always like, “I’m working and no”. Thanks so much for hosting #anythinggoes Debbie
Carling is a lager here in the UK so they think it’s funny to add the “darling” on when ordering it! I’ve used the line “you’re too old for my mother so no chance” before today lol!
Oh and the manners bit seems to be overlooked way too much. When I take my kids out to restaurants I always tell them to thank the waiter/waitress and I try to leave a decent tip as a thank you as well. I teach my boys that thanking those who serve us goes a long way to making them feel appreciated in a job where people often overlook them.
The manners thing is my major bugbear – it’s really not hard! I think it’s great you’re teaching your kids to think about how it makes a person feel.
this brings back too many memories from student days behind a bar #BloggerClubUK
Scarred for life? lol
Love this! I have never worked in a bar or pub, but I can imagine how annoying certain things would be. I think ‘when you’re ready’ is always going to be a touch sarky no matter where it’s said. 🙂 #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 I always want to find a ton of things to do and when people complain say oh sorry, I wasn’t ready!
People have no idea what bar staff have to put up with! great post. #BloggerClubUK
It gets old quickly lol! thank you 🙂
My parents ran a pub when I was small and my sister ran one when I was around twenty and I would often help out behind the bar. I also worked as a barmaid in the student halls bar. “When you’re ready” used to drive me mad as did the “hilarious” lines that people used to come out with thinking they were oh-so-original. A please and thank you always go a long way though. #BloggerClubUK
Those hilarious lines are so annoying! It’s got to the point where I can barely even be bothered to eye roll I’ve heard them so many times!
Oh dear so next time I’m staggered at how nobody says please or thank you in Malta (not the serving staff nor the customers) wistfully thinking of how polite everyone is in Britain, I’m wrong! It really does go a long way as you say and I cant for the life of me fathom why people have become so mannerless. It’s not like you’re asking for one of their teeth! Talking of Malta, don’t come here; you’ll want to gouge your own eyes out over how nobody waits their turn and starts talking to the assistant/whomever while you’re still being served (and the worst thing is the assistants stop serving the first person and start serving the second!!). #bloggerclubuk
I think it’s becoming a global thing sadly. Oh that would drive me insane – its bad enough the other customers being rude enough to do that but for the assistants to go along with it is ridiculous! How do you get through a day there without having a huge fit at least once!
Love this. I’ve worked in restaurants and retails before and I can relate to a lot of what irritates you. It always amazes me how many people don’t say please or thank you – basic manners people! x #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 What always amazes me is the people who are super polite to everyone but the staff – just because we’re behind the bar or counter doesn’t mean we aren’t people! x
Popping back from #bloggerclubuk
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
I used to love bar work when I did it year back but I worked in such a nice local pub where people had all their own tankards etc. I totally get where you are coming from. Mich x #BloggerClubUK
That sounds great – a proper old school pub! x
I haven’t worked in a bar or been a server…but I can see how frustrating it could be! People think they are so funny. Ugh. Great post!
Agreed – manners are everything! Good advice in this post. #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂
Please and thank you would be a good start wouldn’t they! So sad how manners have gone down the drain! #bloggerclubUK
Exactly! And then people wonder why some children lack manners – what do they expect when so many grown ups have none!
Many years ago I use to work at a local British Legion as a barmaid. It was a job I loved and nearly all the customers were great, but I did get a few ‘when your ready’ customers and your right it is so rude. #bloggerclubuk
Most of our regulars are great, but there’s always one! It really is isn’t it
Please and thank you cost nothing and yet go a long way! I have never worked in a bar but I can appreciate why all of these would be incredibly annoying! #BloggerClubUK
It amazes me how many adults don’t use please and thank you! They are annoying indeed lol
I use to work in retail and the biggest thing that annoyed me was ” the customer is always right” and one day I told a customer she was not, so she wanted to report me, so I called a manager for her and then asked her to stand aside so I could serve other customers while she was waiting, believe me she had been VERY rude, and was not happy at being asked to stand aside until a manager could take her complaint…..decided it was once to often and looked for another job.
I now work in a hospital and expect some of the customers to be grumpy, they have every right to be but believe me they are a lot more appreciative than any one in retail
Whoever decided the customer is always right never had to work in a customer facing environment! I really hope your manager put that whiner back in her place
It is ironic, and perhaps that may be attributed to the difference in geography and culture, but I tended bar many years ago. The number one thing I HATED … was to be called a BARMAID. I was a bartender. There is no gender implied in that word and “barmaid” sounded so demeaning and sexist.
Just as many “actresses” now prefer to be referred to as “actors” (as there is no gender implied in that word either), i would imagine it’s the same mindset of not needing gender to be a part of what we do for a living.
Aside from being called a barmaid, my least favorite question was, “What time to you get off?” which implied that whatever time my shift was over I’d be free to get together with that person. I guess that falls under the category of “unwanted sexual advances” but it has a slightly different tone.
Thanks for the blog! 🙂
Generally we don’t use bartender here (UK). Some places say bar staff rather than imply gender, but to be honest, barmaid never really bothered me as it’s the norm here rather than being used as an insult.