Generally, I like to think I’m pretty positive. I tend to focus on, and be thankful for, what I do have rather than focusing on what I don’t have.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have goals – I do. It just means I try to look for what’s good right now.
The Moan
I was talking to some blogging friends a couple of weeks ago, and from nowhere, this whole moaning message sprang up (seriously, I had a right little pity party going on).
The moan basically revolved around feeling like I couldn’t dedicate as much time to certain things as I would like to.
I had a good rant about how I can’t go all in on my blog or writing my novels, because obviously I have bills to pay so paid writing has to come first.
Why It Annoyed Me
After the moan, I was annoyed with myself because let’s face it, I’m literally living my dream. I write for a living and it doesn’t get much better than that (at least not for me) and yet I’d still found something to moan about.
My friends where quick to point out that it’s normal to feel this way sometimes and that a good moan does you good, but it kind of made me feel like an entitled brat at the time.
So, Why Is It Ok To Have A Good Moan?
Once I’d gotten over berating myself for not looking at the positives, I felt so much better for getting the moaning out of my system instead of it eating away at me.
More than that though, it allowed me to really think about where I am at the minute work wise, and put things into perspective:
Yes, I would like more time to dedicate to my blog, but it’s not my main source of income, and it was never meant to be. And that’s ok.
Yes, I would like more time to dedicate to my own novels and short story collections, but looking at my five year plan, I’m nowhere near the stage where I expect to be able to live off the money from them. And that’s ok too.
It showed me that I was trying to run before I could walk and that I needed to take some time to just sit back and remember how far I have come with my goals and to focus on the fact I am on track for my six month goal, and shouldn’t be annoyed with myself for not being at the five year stage after only six months.
So yes, I’d like to be able to fit more things in, but right now isn’t the time – and that’s ok too. A good moan showed me this in a way internalising the frustration just wasn’t.
So have a good moan today – you might just feel better.
Do you find having a good moan makes you feel better or shows you the truth of a situation? Let me know in the comments 🙂
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Maybe moaning is good as long as you remain capable of identifying it as moaning?
When it becomes a person’s primary form of communication, then it’s bad. But every now and again…? Purging is good. 🙂
I love this way of looking at it! I’m still very much in the camp where I know I’m moaning lol so it’s perhaps a good way to just release frustration and then move on
Couldn’t agree more. I find that as a naturally positive person, if I’m then too positive on top of that, then I tend to overreach myself in both actions and expectations. Negativity helps keep me realistic.
I understand that it’s bad for some people – maybe those who are more inclined towards it already? – but some of us need it.
As with a lot of things, it’s a question of keeping an eye on how it affects you. If the results aren’t bad, then moan away!
Good point – I actually felt better after it so it might be a good thing in small doses!
I think it’s perfectly fine and necessary to have a little pity party once in a while, as long as you keep things in perspective. For example, right now I look at the victims of Harvey and Irma and I really can’t complain about too much in my own life. That little occasional knocking sound in my car’s engine? I’m sure I’ll survive.
Yes, when you put things into a large scale perspective, I think most us are pretty well off. Even just for having the basics such as running water!
I’ve thrown myself self pity parties and moped and moaned about things. It really does help later. I think it’s because you’re getting it out of your system and can now focus on the positive.
Yeah it does help to get it all out!