When I watch a TV show that I get into, I get really too into it. To the point where it bothers me more than it should if 
characters do or say things that don’t fit their character’s at all with no clear motivation.
I didn’t realise how bad I was for this until I read an article a while ago about the reasons why certain TV show characters are bad boyfriends. I felt myself getting more and more annoyed by this article. Honestly, you would think whoever wrote it was attacking personal friends rather than fictional characters.
I didn’t leave a comment on the article simply because I didn’t want anyone to think I was a bit mad. As a fiction writer I think I get way too involved with the aspects of fictional characters, but because you all know this already (and may or may not think I’m a little mad) I thought I would share some of my thoughts about it here.
There where a few people in the article I didn’t much care about one way or the other and a lot I hadn’t heard of, so I’m only talking about the ones I’d heard of/had a real opinion on.
The Ones I Agreed With:
Ross Geller (Friends)
I definitely think Ross was an awful boyfriend to Rachel. Not because of the whole “we were on a break” thing. For me, they weren’t together and Ross had every right to do whatever he wanted with any consenting adult in that time period.
The reason he was a bad boyfriend in my opinion was the way he constantly acted superior to Rachel and the way he always sort of gave me the impression that her dreams and aspirations where second to his. It was the final straw when she got off the plane and at no point did he even consider going to Paris with her.
She should have stuck with Joey (sorry).
Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother)
I might be a bit biased here because I found Ted to be an annoying character all around. I always found him to be really judgemental towards everyone. I think as a boyfriend he was very needy and emotionally immature. It would also be a red flag that he was always obsessed with Robin.
I really hated the way the show ended too. It did nothing to improve my opinion of him when he decided it was ok to get with his best friend’s ex-wife.
Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl)
At first, I disagreed with this one. Sure Chuck was manipulative and self-centred, but so was Blair (I think she was actually worse than him). For me, their relationship worked in a twisted way and I liked them together. It was obvious that he really did love Blair, even if he had a funny way of showing it sometimes.
But then the article reminded me that in the very first episode, Chuck tried to rape Jenny. That’s not something you should forget, but as the show went on, he kind of grows on you and you do forget. But the reminder was all I needed to agree that he is indeed a bad choice for a boyfriend.
The One I’m On The Fence About
Harvey Specter (Suits)
The reasons the article gave for Harvey being a bad boyfriend was the way he didn’t support Scotty at work. Personally, I think work is work and life is life. If you can’t separate the two, you should probably not get into a relationship with someone you work with.
In theory, Harvey has the qualities to be a good boyfriend. He’s fiercely loyal and faithful for starters. The problem is that Donna will always come first. Like always.
So I’m on the fence about him. If you’re Donna, Harvey would be the best boyfriend ever. If you’re not Donna, then I don’t think it would be so great.
The Ones I Disagreed With
Hook (Once Upon a Time)
The article said that Hook changed Emma. In a sense he did. He made her feel secure enough that when she had problems, she didn’t want to run away. He softened her in a way that she stopped being emotionally closed off and bottling up her emotions. I don’t see this as a bad thing.
Sure it took away a bit of her edge, but it opened up a whole new side to her character. I think the person writing the article shipped the whole Emma and Regina thing and that’s why they decided Hook was bad for Emma.
Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries)
I think people who think Damon was bad don’t really get the character.
Yes, he killed people, often because he was annoyed about something and they happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m not saying this is a good trait to look for in a life partner, but let’s be honest: he’s a vampire. It’s in his nature to kill.
So why isn’t he a bad boyfriend? Well, he genuinely did try to rein in the killing because he knew it made Elena have to choose between her love for him and her morals. He wanted to be a better person for her.
But the clincher for me was quite early on when there was a big possibility Elena was going to die. Stefan, her boyfriend at the time, pretty much shrugged his shoulders and said “your choice” and sat back and watched the events unfold because he was so scared she would hate him if he acted.
Damon on the other hand took action. Action he knew Elena wouldn’t like and could easily end up with her hating him for all eternity. To give someone a chance to live hating you rather than to die loving you is real love.
He put her life above anyone and anything, including himself. He was willing to literally go to hell for her and several times he sacrificed his own life to save hers. Even when he returned from the dead (which actually wasn’t death but a prison world) and she didn’t remember loving him, he didn’t give up on her.
If that makes someone a bad boyfriend, I’d love to know what more you could do to be a good boyfriend.
If you can’t tell, I was very much team Damon.
Michael Scofield (Prison Break)
This one really got my blood boiling. Hook and Damon had pretty shady pasts and they did have their moments where you thought it was all going to end in tears, but Michael was undoubtedly the good guy.
He manipulated people to an extent but it was all for the greater good. And yes, he stabbed T-Bag in the back but the guy was a paedophile so are we really going to condemn him for that?
The article stated that Michael was a bad boyfriend because he lied to Sarah and ruined her career.
At first, he didn’t tell her the whole truth, but he was a prisoner and she was the prison doctor. He didn’t know her or know what she would do with the truth.
He did not ruin her career. By the time she left the door unlocked, he had told her everything. She had seen the evidence and knew as well as he did that an innocent man would be given the death penalty if she didn’t act.
And let’s not forget he went to prison in Panama for a murder she committed, broke her out of prison later on even though he thought he would end up dead and then faked his own death and went to prison in Yemen to keep her and their child safe.
Yeah, he’s just awful!
Well I feel much better now I’ve got all of that out.
Which of these do you agree/disagree with? Let me know in the comments 🙂
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Very interesting read in spite of the fact that I don’t really watch television and all these characters were/are strangers to me!
Thank you 🙂
I think Michael had his heart in the right place and I don’t think he’d make a bad boyfriend at all. I think he’s the type to go above and beyond for the people he cares about.
I didn’t see the article, but I’m sure I’d not agree with some either from the sounds of it!
He totally did and he definitely went above and beyond for the people he cared about!
Ross and Rachel always bothered me. He was too possessive and jealous. They carried it on for too long until I just wanted them to never be together…the finale where they got together irritated me. they have all the same problems but suddenly it’s fairy tale time I guess.
Yeah it just dragged on too long. A better ending would have been Rachel actually going to Paris and making a life for herself there
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What a great idea for a post! I’d never thought about this until now. I haven’t seen most of these so I can’t comment on them as boyfriends but you are absolutely right about Ross and Rachel.
I think I over think the shows I watch far too much haha. Ross and Rachel were an awful couple lol
Oh Chuck Bass. Bestill my beating heart. There was just something about him I absolutely loved! There is still a huge gap in my life now that Gossip Girl is over! Yes he was a bit of a bad ‘un but, those eyes!! 😍 #AnythingGoes
There really was something about him – I almost wish I hadn’t been reminded of the first episode which I mostly managed to block from my mind and convince myself he was redeemable lol. I totally miss Gossip Girl!
Most these characters are unknown to me but I do agree about Ross from friends….he was also such a pathetic kinda character too! #Anythinggoes
I was always torn between wanting to shake some life into him or shake Rachel and make her see what he was really like lol
Oh dear Ross! The divorce guy! Talk about bad luck in dating! I love that show!
Haha yep that was some divorce rate! Me too 🙂
I’ll never get over Joey and Rachel not working out. I’m not even remotely sorry.
I guess “bad boyfriends” are subjective. I’m going to have to think on this one for a while.
Have a great week!
I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one rooting for Joey and Rachel
Love this! Totally agree on Ross, I had never really thought about it much before but he was a real nightmare. Very superior! Haven’t seen many of the others, I really need to try Prison Break! X #bloggerclubuk
Give Prison Break a go – you’ll be hooked after the first episode! x
I agree with what you say about Ross, but I can’t help but want them to be together. I mean it’s Ross and Rachel. He’s her lobster! Ted Mosbey was annoying! #bloggerclubuk
Haha I think I would have been the only person not annoyed if she’d just eye rolled and stayed on the plane lol.
Yes! After all these years I find someone who agrees with me about Michael from Prison Break haha! #BloggerClubUK
I love Michael and I’m glad to have found someone else who agrees too haha
Oooh no, Joey and Rachel always felt really wrong to me! Even though Ross was really annoying, he and Rachel were lobsters #BloggerClubUK
I think I’m in a tiny group that liked Joey and Rachel together haha! I just wanted her to see that there were better lobsters out there 🙂
I’m right on board with you about Damon! I was always team Damon too. Stephan was too boring for my taste while Damon was rough around the edges but would do anything for Elena. Absolutely! I stopped watching Once Upon a Time but I remember Hook and Emma and I loved their story! The only other characters I know about in this list are Ross and Ted. Yeah, Ted annoyed me too but he wasn’t the reason I watched the show. Allison Hannigan has me as a fan for life because of Buffy and I adore Neil Patrick Harris. Ted wouldn’t be my choice for a life partner. I was on the fence about Ross though because I love him but as I read your take on it, you have a great point! I, personally, always loved Chandler and Monica more but apparently I have an unpopular opinion lol. Thanks so much for this post! I love this one! And I love coming back to your linky #anythinggoes
We are like the same person when it comes to this stuff! I still don’t get the people who were team Stefan like just why? I love Allison Hannigan too (thought from American Pie) and Neil Patrick Harris. I loved Monica and Chandler together too – it probably shouldn’t have worked, but it totally did 🙂
Ha! Sorry I don’t know many of these characters except Ross obviously! But this made me laugh because I’ve recently (yes I know I’m late to the party) binge watched Gilmore Girls on Netflix and had a totally indecent crush on Jess, who to me is the ultimate bad boy teen-crush. The fact this still appeals to me probably says ALOT about why I’m still single! Lol!
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I’m even later – I watched one or two episodes and couldn’t get into it. Lol everyone loves a bad boy deep down!
I can’t say I know many of these… Ross I agree with, and Chuck Bass I just couldn’t help but loving in a bad boy kind of way! #BloggerClubUK
Haha, yeah I had a bit of a soft spot for Chuck too, but I kind of have to agree that he’s a bad boyfriend!
How the actual HECK do you have time to run a blog where you post pretty much daily, write books AND watch TV? You NEED to teach me your time management skills Debs!! And er how do you watch Once Upon a Time without wanting to shoot yourself? I can’t believe it’s still going. Worst thing I’ve ever watched. Don’t hate me.
I loved Friends but I don’t watch any of the other series. How do I barely manage to blog even though I also barely watch TV?! #bloggerclubuk
Haha when you put it like that, I have no idea!
I won’t hate you – I liked the show but it’s not one that gets me riled up when people hate it haha.
Haha this is brilliant. Completely agree with Ross and Ted. Both annoying, both superior acting and both whingy! You’re totally right about Michael Schofield to (though I didn’t watch the come back series so now I know how that ended…thanks 😉
Cx
They really are! I love Michael – and the post only mentions how the new series starts, you’ll still have to watch it to find out how it ends 🙂 x
I wanted Rachel and Joey to stay together but once they broken up I wanted her to get back with Ross (can’t believe how long ago that was!) #anythinggoes
I know I feel so old when I think about how long ago Friends was lol
I think I’m a bit out of touch! The only one I recognise is Ross from Friends!! #bloggerclubUK
When I met my wife I was on the run from two burglary warrants, paranoid, angry, broke and without clue or plan. Day 1: I told her everything. Day 2: We moved in together. 38 years so far.
So, speaking as a bad boyfriend, not all bad boys remain bad boys. Some of us become civilized over time and become good boyfriends/husbands.
Wow, you must have made quite an impression on her for her to be all in so quickly. Congrats on 38 years!